Toby, 15, and Anton, 12, make me laugh 100 times a day. Ever since they learned to talk, they’ve been surprising me with their hot takes and hilarious slang. Here are a few things they — and their friends — have busted out with lately…

Anton, to me at the grocery store: “Bro, this is tomato juice and clam broth. It’s like, uhhh, thanks for the opportunity.”

Anton: “This kinetic sand smells so bad.”
Friend: “Omg you know what it smells like?”
Anton: “What?”
Friend: “Something really bad.”

Friend: “School lunch is so bad.”
Toby: “The worst.”
His friend: “It will just be a yellow blob. Is it meat? Is it potatoes? Like, I need to know the CATEGORY.”

A text to my parents, above.

Anton, while studying myths: “Greek myths are like, we ate dinner and we did something bad. We ate dinner again and we did something baaaaaaadddd.”

Anton, from the bathroom: “I’m doing the best hand wash ever!”
Me: “What makes it great?”
Anton: “It’s just tuff.”

Anton styling Toby at a store. My heart.

My little friend showing me her funny face.

At our block party this weekend, a teenage girl told me she was trying to wear roller skates for 24 hours. “Is it a kind of fundraiser?” I asked her. “No, just a personal challenge,” she said. She had 14 hours left and, although her feet hurt, she felt confident she’d make it: “I basically just have to sleep in them and I’m done.”

Toby, after babysitting for two hours: “Mom, you have no idea how exhausting taking care of kids is.”
Me: “Yeah……totally.”

What cute or funny things have the kids in your life said or done lately? And what kinds of things enchant them?

P.S. More kids in conversation, and how to talk to kids about sex, periods, death, consent and everything else.